i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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