I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
