Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
my shit smells like andre
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
