im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize