hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
