we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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