I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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