His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
