Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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