As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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