He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
