I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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