why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
