Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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