I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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