Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
