people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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