# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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