My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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