Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize