all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
