Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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