I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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