Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
pop tarts are not kleenex
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
