he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize