Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
