puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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