I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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