so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He kissed a someone with a penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
