I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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