how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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