im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
