i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize