meet me or not, i'm out of control
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize