He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
