Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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