We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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