We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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