im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The air taste purple.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
