just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
