i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All the doctor said was why
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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