Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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