id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
