Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
