**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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