i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
