someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize