am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
