ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
love makes seman taste better
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
