btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
