its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
