if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
