Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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