I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize