Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
