: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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