sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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