we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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