I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
porn star boner night. come get it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
