scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
