My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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