i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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