She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize